Author: Suzette Haden Elgin

1. Recognize aggressive communication: The first step to defending yourself from verbal aggression is to recognize it. Aggressive communication can take many forms, including insults, put-downs, threats, and intimidation.

2. Don't take it personally: It's important to remember that aggressive communication is often a reflection of the other person's issues, not yours. Don't take their words personally and don't let them get under your skin.

3. Stay calm and in control: When you're being attacked verbally, it's easy to get angry or defensive. However, it's important to stay calm and in control. This will help you think clearly and respond effectively.

4. Use verbal judo: Verbal judo is a technique for deflecting and diffusing aggressive communication. It involves using non-confrontational language to turn the tables on the aggressor.

5. Use humor: Humor can be a powerful tool for defusing tension and disarming an aggressor. However, it's important to use it carefully and not make light of the situation.

6. Set boundaries: It's important to set boundaries with people who are verbally aggressive. Let them know what you will not tolerate and be prepared to walk away if necessary.

7. Seek support: If you're dealing with chronic verbal aggression, it's important to seek support from a friend, family member, or therapist. They can help you develop strategies for coping with the situation and protect yourself from further harm.

By following these lessons, you can learn to defend yourself from verbal aggression and protect your emotional well-being.